Many countries spend decades trying to join EU. Some argue that EU refuses to let them in while EU insist that all depends on them instead. Many more countries joined the EU compared to those who stall. It's much like a class in school where most graduate, but some have to repeat a year, and others keep re-repeating it forever.
After Spring of Nations and collapse of USSR, a new Eastern Class went on the pass of EU accession. Some struggled like Poland, others aced it but 10 of them (including Poland) graduated without having to repeat any classes and became EU members in 2004. Romania and Bulgaria failed to graduate with their classmates but acceded at the next opportunity after repeating a class only once. Late comer Croatia graduated in 2013. Most of the rest of EU current enlargement agenda already repeating the same class at least 4 time in a row. For all intends and purposes they are students with special needs. At the back of a short bus, as Americans would say.
So, who is currently in the short bus.
Bosnia
One such student is Bosnia who is suffering from tri-polar disorder. Bosnia 1st personality calls itself Bosnia and Herzegovina and wants to join EU. 2nd personality disagrees with both. It calls itself Republica Srbska, insist they are Serbs, should join Serbia and re-create Yugoslavia instead. Finally, 3rd personality calls itself Republic of Herzec Bosnia and says they are part of Croatians instead.
Bosnia talks to itself:
Bosnia 1st personality (Bosnia and Herzegovina): We want to be part of EU
Bosnia 2nd personality (Republica Srbska): No, we do not. They bombed our Kosovo and recognized separatist government there.
Bosnia 3rd personality (Republic of Herzec Bosnia): Can I be part of Croatia instead? Serbs bombed out Croatia. I do not want to be in the same country with that Kosovo obsessed genocidal criminal.
Bosnia 1st personality: We are one country, not three ones. Can you both stop it. Because of two of you we have tripolar disorder and cannot join the EU.
Bosnia 2nd personality: No, we are not one country. I am the same country as Serbia, not you.
Bosnia 3rd personality: I want to be part of Croatia instead.
Bosnia 2nd personality: Anyhow it's finally my turn to control the body, we are out of here.
Bosnia stands up and leaves the class
Observer: Does that mean they no longer wish to join.
Teacher: Of course not. Bosnia will be back once its 1st or 3rd personality's turn to control the body. We try to work with them during these times and ignore the 2nd personality when it takes control. We are making some progress.
Serbia
Observer: Speaking of Serbia are they also in this special class?
Teacher: Yes, they need safe space as they have many
Observer: Notes on Serbia says it cannot say phrase "Kosovo is independent country". does it have speech problems?
Serbia yells from its seat: Kosovo is Serbia, NATO bombed us. Ne damo Kosovo, Kosovo. Nase Kosovo.
Teacher: See you triggered it. We leave this question to the end as we currently focus on other areas.
Kosovo
Observer: What about Kosovo, are they also in this class?
Serbia yells again: No because they are part of our country, not their own.
Teacher whispers to observer: They study from home to avoid triggering Serbia.
Albania
Observer: What about this kid with 3 laptops.
Teacher: Did you steal laptops from other students again, Albania?
Albania: No, my friends asked me to look after their laptops.
Teacher: You complained just yesterday that you have no friends in this class as you asked to let Kosovo to trans...
Teacher looks at Serbia and stops short of finishing the sentence.
Albania: They are from my friends from another class, erm another school.
Observer: He seems like nice kid. He looks after so many laptops of his friends. 6 laptops must be very heavy.
Teacher thinks for himself: How did he stole these at the same time, as he was talking to me?
Turkey
Observer: Who is this old guy? Is he some other observer or a carer for one of the students?
Teacher: This is Turkey. They began their studies even before the class that graduated in 2004 were born. Yet they consistently fail to graduate. I do not even know what is going on inside this student's head. For example, when I ask him:
Teacher to Turkey: What have you done to the protesting students?
Turkey: I used riot police to beat and imprison them.
Teacher: What did I told you about free speech and use of riot police?
Turkey: That free speech is EU value and it is against European values to suppress free speech or use riot police against peaceful protesters.
Teacher: They why did you did the opposite?
Turkey: Because I watched Naruto. Sasuke disobeyed Kakashi's instructions and Kakashi approved of that, saying that students who disobey rules may be trash but those who do not help their comrades are worse than trash. So, I thought that countries that violate EU values may be trash but those who do not use police to enforce authority are worse than trash. Thus, I used riot police, because it was right thing to do and I think you will approve of that.
Teacher: Real world does not work this way, Turkey. Warch Naruto Abridged and see for yourself if you have to. Because of your backsliding on democracy and human rights, you not only have to repeat this class but also the one you already finished. You will be pushed one class back.
Georgia
Georgia whispers to Turkey: Things look bleak, aniki. Seems you were wrong with your plan.
Turkey: Do not worry Georgia, I am not wrong. Teacher is simply testing my determination to stick to my Ninja Way in face of adversity. I am sure he secretly approves of my actions and soon will make me an EU leader for all my hard work and efforts. Trust my experience here, I am thinking several steps ahead like a chess player.
Georgia: Wow, you really managed to see it that far. You are so impressive.
Observer: Who is this guy, that talks to Turkey?
Teacher: Georgia, you are not supposed to be here. You together with Ukraine and Moldova have a separate late learner class. You should not hang out with the repeat students' class; you may catch some of their stupidity.
Georgia: Do not worry teacher, Turkey here is sharing his experience with me. With his knowledge I will graduate in no time.
Teacher: That is what I am worried about. Repeat students are here because they do not understand what it takes to graduate. Especially Turkey.
Association Trio (Georgia, Ukraine, Moldova)
Observer: Who is that, Georgia?
Teacher: Georgia together with Moldova and Ukraine is part of our new class, and we have some cautious optimism about them. Back when 2004 class only started, these guys were dismissive of our school. Nowadays however they had seen how far their peers, that graduated in 2004, managed to get in life. They want to imitate their success and signed up for late age education. We have cautious hopes for them even if they are slow to learn.
Observer: Commendable.
Teacher: There is also another secret student in this group, but we do not disclose who it is. They are member of the Eurasian gang, The gang leader, Russia, threatens everyone who attends the school, so they cannot have their identity revealed.
Montenegro
Observer: What about this sleeping kid, another one of the problematic ones?
Teacher: On the contrary, Montenegro is our explementary student. Sure, they sleep most of the time, but when they are awake, they answer everything correctly and do everything right. They are currently closest to graduation.
Serbia yells again: Kosovo is Serbian. Karajic did nothing wrong. Free Sesel.
Observer: On the other hand, I can see why a sleeping student would be nice. At least they do not yell crazy things like that guy.
North Macedonia
Observer: Any absent people?
Teacher: Only North Macedonia. Regular absentee, but they should be here now. They skipped class for whole 20 years over their dispute with Greece. North Macedonia claimed to be a descendant of a famous and rich general and disputed his inheritance with Greece. Eventually they settled that North Macedonia is descendant of unrelated famous and rich general with very similar name as the one Greece descendant from and North Macedonia has no claims on Greek inheritance.
Observer: If it all settled, then why North Macedonia is still absent?
Serbia: Bulgaria recently admitted that they are North Macedonia's real father, but North Macedonia insist someone dumb and boring like Bulgaria could not possibly be father of great and mighty North Macedonia.
Teacher: If anything, I wish some of Bulgaria's sense would have passed to North Macedonia.
Moldova and Ukraine
Suddenly door opens and Moldova rushes in.
Teacher: What's the matter Moldova? It's too early for your class. You have your assignments, finish them before noon.
Moldova: its Ukraine, Eurasian gang leader, Russia, made true of their threats and attacked Ukraine. Other gang members helping him out. They are fighting right now. Send help please.
Teacher: I will call out transatlantic sheriff right away. We ourselves will do what we can as well.
Conclusion
Observer: Hard to be a teacher with all these crazy students. Have you considered kicking some of them out of school.
Teacher: Sure, it's hard, but if we kick them out, Eurasian gang will be sure to pick them up. We already have crime problems, and we do not want to make them even worse.
Observer: Such a commendable attitude, I wish that you succeed in your work.
Teacher: Thank you.
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